Illustrations by Bill Mudron.

Bongo McTweedlepants has been dreaming of a career on the Children’s Hour of Knowledge ever since he was a sock puppet. With a Master’s in Education from Puppet Harvard and a lengthy background in broadcasting, he’s perhaps a little too well qualified to be doing so with Davey.

“Knowledge is half the power!”

Louie Pasture’s incorrectly spelled name is responsible for 93% of the CHK’s Disappointed Google Search Results (DGSR). He has tried to live his life in imitation of the famous microbiologist–but with horns! And udders! We’re… we’re not sure why a boy cow would have udders, maybe it’s a French thing.

“I also invented orange juice.”

First Appearance: Episode 1: Viruses. Other Appearances.

Wolfman Mozart is a graduate from the prestigious Musical History program at Puppet Columbia, and the Supergenius Treehouse’s trusted music expert. He is also a werewolf. He likes having his tummy rubbed and he is a good boy; yes he is, he’s a good boy, isn’t he? Yes, he is.

“I’m not a dog! I’m a werewolf!”

First Appearance: Episode 2: Music and the Big Bang. Other Appearances.

The Count is heir to a grand European lineage, hailing from the small but distinguished fiefdom of, um, C**ksylvania. While we can’t legally speak his full name on the air, we can tell you that he most often resides at his London estate, Carf*xxx, and that he is often confused with the legendary Vlad the–Vlad the Impal–Christ, just forget it.

“Tell him I said… BLAH.”

First Appearance: Episode 3: Blood. Other Appearances.

Thaddeus Von Wiggletrousers, or “Thad” as he prefers not to be called, is the superstar puppet cohost of “Doctor Bonker’s Educational Funtime”–which is much like the CHK, only it’s educational and people listen to it. He and Bongo are old chums from their time at Puppet Harvard, which is part of why he believes Bongo is wasted on the CHK.

“Your smiles are like the sunshine from a unicorn’s hug.”

First Appearance: Episode 4: String Theory and Corn Chips. Other Appearances.

Herman the Oral Hygiene Zombie may be undead, but that doesn’t mean he’s not concerned about your gums! Sure, his deathless hunger and sex addiction may get the best of him at times, but he also serves as a liaison between the CHK and the ravening hordes that regularly storm across Detroit.

“I had become the worst thing a zombie can become… a slow eater.”

First Appearance: Episode 5: Oral Hygiene and Zombies. Other Appearances.

The Ghost of Bob Dylan may not be, technically, either a ghost or Bob Dylan. Who can say! He’s too spooooky! We can tell you that he smells horrible, and could use a quarter for the bus.

“Hamburger bicycle, enema raincoat!”

First Appearance: Episode 7: Ghosts and Ouija Boards. Other Appearances.

Uncle Sönnschein is Nick’s uncle. No, that’s not redundant. Once a decorated war veteran, he’s now a withered and furious old man. He is an expert in the fields of arthritis and Alzheimer’s, and his body contains approximately three pounds of shrapnel.

“What, they let homosexuals on the radio now?”

First Appearance: Episode 8: 20 Most Important Facts of the 20th Century. Other Appearances.

Fuzzy McTweedlepants, or MC Fuzzy Blanket, is both Bongo’s younger brother and an up-and-coming hip-hop artist in Detroit. His inspirational raps, thick beats and positive message have struck a chord with children everywhere. His debut album, “Drink Milk or Die Tryin’,” is flying off the shelves, and it appears to be only a matter of time before his contract is picked up by a major label.

“Brush your teeth and gums, so you don’t get gingivitis. My d**k so big, looks like I got elephantitis!”

First Appearance: Episode 9: Motivational Music. Other Appearances.

Braggy Bear, according to his MySpace profile, is an expert “at everything.” He claims to be extremely wealthy and to have many celebrity friends. It is very likely that he is not, and does not.

“I have a boat.”

First Appearance: Episode 10: Mark Twain and Communism. Other Appearances.

Matronly Margaret is a certified midwife, a mother of seven, founding member of La Leche League and can bench 215 on a bad day. She takes excellent care of the boys in the Treehouse Lab, even when things get rough, which they usually do when she’s around.

“Who’s got some sugar for me?”

First Appearance: Episode 11: Babies. Other Appearances.

Appy-pop, the Peppy Pink Pill enjoys a great deal of success as the spokes-pill for Galaxy-FizedAvartis’ top-selling miracle pill “Apostrophex.” He has the very important job of dispelling some of the uglier rumors about his favorite drug, and promoting its many benefits. For example, did you know that as of April of 2008, Apostrophex no longer causes children to strangle guinea pigs?

“Apostrophex: What you need next!”

First Appearance: Episode 12: Pharmaceuticals. Other Appearances.

More coming soon!